My kids have gone out of control,
They’re trying to drive me crazy.
They go from hyperactive
To just plain old downright lazy.

They shaved the neighbors Persian cat
And died their pocket poodle green.
They put two pink flamingos
In the Baptist Church’s manger scene.

They changed, “Three Families’ Garage Sale”
To read, “Three Families’ Garbage sale.”
Someday soon, their college fund
Will surely have to go for bail.

I told my mom how bad they’ve been
And asked if she knew what to do.
She just grinned and said,”Your kids
Remind me just so much of you!”