I got up early this morning;
Today I would ride a horse!
It would be my very first time;
I knew of the dangers, of course.

I chose a fiery white steed;
I had carefully read in a book
How to judge equine temperament
By how its nose and eyes look.

I approached with great trepidation;
The horse was already saddled.
My plan was to quickly jump on
Before he knew he was straddled.

But alas, all hell broke loose;
No gentle cantering here.
The horse I chose was too wild
For a rank amateur, I fear.

He bucked and pitched as I clung there,
My whole life flashed then before me.
Last thoughts should be more noble
But all I could think was, “Poor me.”

Right then my steed’s goal accomplished
He flung me right off of his back.
My foot got caught in the stirrup
And dragged me along like a sack.

I was sure that death was my lot,
My grave was soon to be dug,
Had not the man from Wal-Mart
Stepped out and unplugged the plug.