Category: Church Humor

“It’s time to go,” the Father said, As they all gathered at the gate. They’ve been expecting us for years And now we shouldn’t make them wait. The Son had all the maps and charts, Taken from the Heavenly crypt. Everything was going perfect According to the ancient script. The extravaganza was well planned, The […]

The lion and the lamb, not a congenial twosome; Any friendship would be particularly gruesome. Of Biblical fame, they’d lie down together, The sun always shining, most beautiful weather. Until that time comes, when peace is the norm, The lamb must endure an occasional storm. And lambs should avoid where lions now abide, Or together […]

Mama said to us, in church, “You must be quiet as a mouse Because you must not forget That you are in God’s own house.” But if it is God’s own house, Doesn’t he love girls and boys? When little kids are happy, They might make a little noise. But Sister explained to me, Why […]

She was the town’s biggest gossip No one could avoid her ire. And telling the village secrets Was work from which she’d never tire. Now Willy had a big red truck The folks from miles around all knew it. When Joe’s bar needed something fixed Willy was the one to do it. While Willy worked […]

A priest was disgusted with the drunk Sitting next to him reading the news. The drunk turned to the priest and asked him, With words that were slurred by too much booze, “What is it that causes arthritis?” The priest answered, “Drinking ‘way too much, And sleeping around with loose women, Then using addiction as […]